Finally

Finally got to talk to my man! Hearing his voice was amazing...hearing him SAY "I Love You Babe" just melted my heart! Our conversation just flowed. I started to cry when it was time to hang up :( I could have talked to him for hours! Love you Mr. Bartlett

Finally Heard His Voice

Last night the phone rang with a number I didn't know but something told me to answer it so I did....for the first time I heard his RECORDED voice....pressed 5 to accept and no one was on the other end. Oh yeah I cried and throughout the night all I heard in my head was "Bartlett" in this deep sexy voice! What a cruel joke! Now I have my phone sittin with me hoping he will call back soon! Love you baby!

Wishing We Were...

I'd give anything to be spending the holidays with Justin. The thought of him spending it alone once again breaks my heart. One more after this and then we will spend it together!!! My heart is San Luis Obispo thats for sure

My Song To My Man...Oh How I Cherish Him!

I Do (Cherish You)
All I am, all I'll be

Everything in this world, all that I'll ever need
Is in your eyes, shining at me
When you smile I can feel all my passion unfolding
Your hand brushes mine
And a thousand sensations seduce me 'cause I

I do, cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much, I do

In my world before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
Until that day I found you
How you opened my life to a new paradise
In a world torn by change
Still with all of my heart, until my dying day

I do, cherish you
For the rest of my life
You don't have to think twice
I will, love you still, from the depths of my soul
It's beyond my control
I've waited so long to say this to you
If you're asking do I love you this much, yes I do
I've waited so long to say this to you
So, if you're asking if I love you this much, I do
Oh, I do

Poem From Justin

Some Day Soon

Some day soon I will hold you close
Beer Bottles we will toast
I'll be happy and I'll be free
Move on with life, Yes you and me
A second chance at life at last
I wont' go backwards I'll bury the past
I'll try my best to be good man
Do for my family all I can
This is the truth
I speak no lies
No more tears will fall from your eyes
In my life you mean the most
Some day soon I'll hold you close!!!

Missing Him

I miss my baby!!!!!!! Still waiting to get approved to go see him! Man do I ever want to see him!

I Don't Care

People say I'm selling myself short by waiting for not just a man in prison but one that is so young and has nothing to offer me. I disagree. I would be selling myself short if I didn't give our love a shot! Being in a loveless marriage for so long has made me realize I have to take this chance. Justin has stirred up every emotion I thought I no longer had inside me! He is my best friend! I don't want to live a single day without him in it! Whether it be now or when he gets home. This man is coming home to me and we are going to give it everything we have! Love you babe!

Good Man

With every passing day I get to see what a great man Justin is! I feel so darn lucky to have him in my life! He is so open about everything! Our conversations just continue to flow with every letter. I was afraid we would run out of things to talk about since we write each other everyday. Nope not even close! I usually do all the talking/writing LOL he just responds....He says he's so busy responding to my letter that he runs out of time to ask awhole lot. It's nice to have someone I can be completely open with... share my every thought. Justin is so caring and loving! In my eyes he is SIMPLY AMAZING!

He's Realizing

As January approaches Justin is realizing he is on the downhill side of his time. He said he was watching TV the other night and became overwhelmed with happiness just thinking about how close he was to going home!

I Just Know

I just know that all this waiting and loneliness will be worth it! Something says Justin is the one! My last chance and you better believe I will do everything I can so our relationship will be a happy and healthy one. Problems will be faced together, communication OPEN & HONEST, and plenty of love. Never losing sight of our friendship that brought us to the point we are at now. We trust each other completely and that can never change. TRUST, COMMUNICATION and HONESTY! 

Thinking of you My FF

I love my letters from my man. They are the best. I'm telling you Justin is the best drug ever. I can't wait to overdose on him :) I resent my visitation application in today...God PLEASE grant me this simple request. I've nicknamed Justin my FF...Favorite Felon! When he gets home it will mean something else!!! Love ya babe... everyday we are one step closer!

Love Quotes

I love you not because I need you,
I need you because I love you.




If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind
I would say once, because you never really left…

Poem To Justin

I’m so lucky to have finally met someone as wonderful as you

You really are a dream come true

I looked forward to the day we would finally meet
Not expecting you to sweep me off my feet

When I said I’d be your #1 fan
Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan

I knew you were different right from the start
Through your words you managed to capture and steal my heart

I tried to fight my feelings as they began to grow
I didn’t want to admit the truth I didn’t want to let my feelings show

I was falling in love with you even if it was wrong
I couldn’t deny my feelings any longer they were way too strong

Scared to let you know afraid of what you might say
Nothing to lose, everything to gain, I wanted you to know I was here to stay

Here was our chance at love…to love and be loved a chance worth taking
A commitment worth making

Like our friendship our love continues to grow
We have nothing but time so we will take it slow

One day we will hold each other close - hug each other nice and tight
Make passionate love throughout the night

Our day is coming no longer will we be apart
Our life together will be ready to start!

My Heart

As the holidays are upon us poor Justin gets in a funk. He misses his family and his little girl. I do what I can to keep his spirits up but I understand where he is coming from. After this Christmas he will only have 1 more left! Bring on 2011.... I hope it goes by fast! As of Nov. 30th my soon to be ex moved out so I am officially on my own. My divorce will be final long before Justin comes home! I'm still waiting to get approved to visit him! God please answer this prayer!

Thinking of you

Sitting here thinking of my man :) Wishing he was sitting next to me watching footbal...his favorite team the San Diego Chargers are on...one day we will be watching them play live!!! He wants to go see the Chargers and the Angels. Justin will never again take a day of freedom for granted. Good or bad we will enjoy each and every day! In his card yesterday he said he was thankful I was his girlfriend well I'm proud to call him my man...felon or not my love for him couldn't be anymore true!! Love u babe! Thinking of you ALWAYS!!!

The Sweetest Card

So I received the sweetest card from Justin today. After the week I have had I needed something to bring my spirits up and he did just that! He has 18 mths left, but today I realized we have been writing each other for 18 mths already. So what's another 18, right? Well for the first year we were just pen pals...buddies. It wasn't until June that I realized my feelings for him were getting stronger with each passing day. It wasn't until August that I expressed those feelings and emotions. As the REO Speedwagon song says...I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore!!! Opening up to him was the BEST decision I have ever made!! I CAN NOT wait until he is home and we can be together 24/7. He so special to me... I have NEVER felt this way for anyone before in my life and I don't plan on loving ANYONE but him!!! Love u babe!

Sometimes

Sometimes it feels as if time is standing still. I know with each passing day we are one step closer to being together. I long to be in his arms holding each other tight. I daydream about him so much it scares me. Something just feels so right about all this. I can't explain it. I know the odds are against us and everyone thinks I'm a fool for not only believing in him but for believing in us.

He's So Sweet

Before Justin I never had someone dedicate a song to me. He loves his music that's for sure! So far he has dedicate the following songs to me!

I'm A Little More Country Then That (Easton Corbin)
I Can Love You Like That (John Michael Montgomery)
Want To (Sugarland)
It's Your Love (Time McGraw)
Here Without You (3 Doors Down)
When I'm Gone (3 Doors Down)
I Pray (Amanda Perez)
They Don't Know (Jon B)
Smile (Kottonmouth Kings)

I've dedicated the following songs to him
From This Moment (Shania Twain)
Ready To Love Again (Lady A)

Needless to say I have all these songs on my Ipod & YouTube Acct I listen to them when I'm missing him the most.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over.

UNKNOWN
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So Hard

Day in and day out it's always the same. I miss him with all my heart. It just seems like May 27,2012 will never get here. I can't go that long without hearing his voice or seeing his face. I will continue to pray that my application gets approved to go visit him. That's the only way I'm going to be able to stay sane. I love his letters but I want more of him.....not from him just of him. He brightens my day and I look forward to the day he is in my arms to stay. I will love and support him in everyway possible. His happiness is my happiness...his pain is my pain. I love you Justin Lee Bartlett

Missing Him

As I begin a new chapter of my life I wish more then ever that Justin was here! I would give anything to have him hold me and just talk in generl. I diidn't hear from him today and I really do miss reading his words. I hope to hear from him tomorrow.

Missing Him

Justin may be miles away yet I fill so content. I long for the day we are together more then anyone knows. The bond we share is so awesome. We write each other everyday just because! We are taking advantage of this time apart to really get to know each other through the words we write. I love learning new things about him. He makes me laugh everyday! He's always on my mind and in my heart! This young man has rocked my world and I LOVE IT!  My life has changed so much...I look forward to the future and spending it with him. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but hey that's ok I don't care! It's time I live for ME and not worry about what others think. Justin makes me happy and that's all I care about! One day baby...our day will soon be here!

Hmm Something Is Different

I found myself looking forward for the mail to be delivered everyday...a chance there might be a letter from my buddy. I use to write him every couple of weeks..no big deal. Now I was writing him every few days. I couldn't get enough of him. I wanted to learn as much about him as possible. He was so open. It didn't take long for us to see how much we thought alike and believe it or not had in common! It was amazing to say the least. I knew everything I was feeling was wrong. How could something that felt so right be so wrong? I couldn't stop thinking about him! I prayed to God for guidance, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't felt so alive in over 15 years! I had to go with what felt right. I had to take a chance.... Now the problem was how do I tell him how I was feeling? I had been playing it off so cool or so I thought! So my next letter started a little different.... I told him how much he warmed my heart, how much I cared about him.  I was falling in love with him! How could this be possible? Everyone knows the games inmates play..they have nothing but time and nothing to lose! How was I to know if I was just a game he was playing? I had so many doubts! I was surprised to learn he was feeling something too. He kept reassuring me he was for real and not playing with my heart. Before I went any further I had to make sure I was ready for the backlash and anger I would be facing from my kids. I didn't want to toy with his heart either. I was about to make a decision that would change my life as I knew it! I have lived for my kids for the last 21 years. They are grown up and moving on. It's time I do the same! I deserve to be happy. I want to love someone with all my heart and know I am loved in return. I wanted nothing more then to give my love and my heart to Justin. It felt so right!

Lost Letters

As I promised I responded to Justin's simple letter's. It was nothing more then hello and how are you. It was shortly after we began to correspond with each other that our mail came up missing. Neither one of us were sure if the other one was even replying back. In December 2009 one of my letters finally landed! Justin was surprised to hear from me since the last letter he had received was September 24, 2009. He took the time to write a brief life history and explained the crime he committed that landed him at a level 4 yard at the young age of 19. He was now writing this info for the third time!

What Am I Feeling

Before long I was looking forward to Justin's letters. He made me laugh for the first time in years. His words were powerful. How can someone be so smart and in tune with himself and be behind bars? This youngster is intelligent beyond belief! He knew exactly how and where he went wrong. When he entered the system he was full of anger and hate. He was ready to take it out on anyone. Once he did just that he soon found out all he was doing was causing himself and his family more pain. He spent 16 months in the hole with nothing but time to re=evaluate his life and what he wanted to do with it!

A Friend Who Listened

Back in December Justin made the comment "you must be single or yo wouldn't be writing me". I didn't respond either way because I didn't feel being married had anything to do with us just being pen pals. It wasn't until June that I opened up completely and told him about my DUI, driver license situation, my loveless marriage and my plans for my future. I told him I was involved with Celebrate Recovery and church. I had a new outlook on life. One day I hoped to love someone and be loved by someone in return. It was nice to have someone to spill my heart and soul to! As always he response was supportive and understanding. He also was hoping to find love once he was free. I never dreamed the love we spoke of would soon change my life!

More Letters To Come

In July we started writing more often. Our conversations just flowed so naturally. He wanted to know if I was looking for a young stud and I kept telling him no! There was a 20 year age difference between us and I had a son older then him! I would just laugh it off. I had never had any desire or thoughts of being with some one his age. I have 15 kids just like him! Young men still trying to find their place in the world without a care in the world. Our friendship continued to grow with each and every letter. He was an amazing youngster! It wasn't long before I realized he wasn't lying when he said he was much older then his age. His mind was incredible.

Tears In June

Justin and I continued to write every now and then over the months. In May he sent me a short note letting me know he had been transfered from Kern Valley to San Lois Obispo. In June I went on vacation to North Carolina and upon my return there was an large envelope waiting for me. Enclosed was a beautiful cross in the memory of my nephew Brett. It was so sweet. I will never forget opening up one of the most special pieces of mail I had ever received! It was a very sweet Happy Birthday card! I remember laying on the couch with tears rolling down my face. This young man had remembered my birthday and took the time to send me a card to let me know! My own husband didn't even get me a card! This simple act of kindness meant so much to me! I knew at that moment there was something very different about this young man. He was caring, kind, smart, funny, thoughtful and very real!

How Was I to Know

Back in June 2009 I received a simple note from a very polite and articulate young man. He was an inmate at a California State Prison and he simply asked if I minded if he wrote me now and then. I thought it was sweet and I know how much mail means to someone in that situation. Something about this note touched me so I wrote back saying sure I don't mind. It was as simple as that!