Getting Closer

With each passing day I get more excited! Just like 2011 is coming to an end so is Justin's 7yr ordeal. I remember last Christmas thinking how long it seemed until he was getting released in may 2012. Now it's just around the corner. Next year we will be spending the holidays together with his family! My life like Justin's is about to change! No longer living for everyone else I will be living for me and a chance at spending my life with someone I truly love! I can't wait to ring in the new year & the next chapter of my life!

He Finally Realized...

Wow.... one day he is telling me to move on then out of the blue a few weeks later he calls me so humble asking me if it's too late to pick up the pieces and work on getting our relationship back to where it was before he was blinded by only God knows what! The sound of his voice said it all...he was so sincere! Something finally got through to him that he didn't just love me but was IN LOVE with me! The first time he's ever felt true love. never did he think it was possible to find while behind bars and with a woman he's never met. It does seem crazy, but I knew months ago I was IN LOVE with Justin!!! No doubt about it! Now that we are on the same page and back on track it seems to just get better! Every time we talk he sounds so different....I can't explain it! I can hear the change in his voice....I can tell he is still amazed by his feelings!! It's cute! True love is hard to find and if you do find it you may only get chance at it so enjoy every minute of it!! I know I plan on it! I love being in love with Justin! Loving him is so easy! Love you baby!

My Heart Hurts...

Well as the saying goes...All good things must come to an end....and it hurts like hell! As Justin gets closer to the gate he is filled so many mixed emotions. He's been incarcerated since he was 19 and now at 25 he has to start over again. This time he will have a label attached to him..felon. The road ahead is going to be even tougher due to our poor economy and job market. He also feels he needs to be free...as a single man. I agree. He needs to explore what he thinks he missed. No matter how bad I was hoping to be by his side once he got out I know this is best. I respect him for telling me ahead of time instead of after I moved away and got a place for us. We have always said our friendship means the most to both of us. I will do my best to continue to love & support him as I have these last 3 years. Be there as his true friend who only wants the best for him. I WILL always love him with all my heart. He is a wonderful man who made a huge impact on my life. I will be forever grateful for all the memories we have made through our letters. We truly formed a bond like I've never had with anyone else! Thank you Justin! Love you always, your Lovebug

Phone Calls Change EVERYTHING

In May our ability to talk on the phone came to an abrupt end. Needless to say we had become spoiled by our daily 15 minute talks. I LOVE our letters but they aren't the same as hearing his voice, laughter and silliness among other things. I admit our relationship kind of leveled off for a few months. Last week I was able to have a landline installed just for Justin.. I call it Justin's Love Line :) Oh man what a difference! We laugh so much and we have learned NOT to take our calls for granted! Hearing his voice just calms me and makes my wait so easy. I long for the day we talk freely for as long as we want! holding each other close discussing anything and everything! The closeness we had the past came back instantly!!! I love him more and more EVERYDAY!!!!

New Pictures Of My Baby!

So Lonely Without Him

Hmmm things haven't been all that smooth between Justin and I the last month or so. All I can do is blame it on the "Short Timers Blues". He is getting antzy now that he's realized he is getting closer to the gate! Even though there is 9 mths left he is stressing over a place to parole to. I told him I wwasn't going to get us a place in Orange County until he had 2 mths left. I don't want to live by myself. So he's full of doubts which I understand. I wrote and told him to get a plan B just in case I can't get a place for us by the time he gets paroled. Oh man that didn't go over very well. He took it as I wasn't going to get us a place.... needless to say he tells me he thinks he would be better off being single after being locked up 7 years. Really? Ok...if you think so than I can't stop you. I feel he's full of crap but I haven't been able to talk to him about it....He should be getting my 11 page response any day now! Thank God on Tuesday I was able to get a landline in for him to call! Yes!!! I can't wait to hear his voice again!!! Problem is he won't get that news until the middle of next week :( So I will sit here and wait to hear that wonder ring of the telephone. Heck it's been so long since I've had a landline I'm not sure if I even remember what it sounds like :) I call it my Justinline! Hopefully once we can talk to each other we will get over this little hurdle of ours and start heading for the finiah line! TOGETHER.

Meeting The Family

After talking to Justin's Ma on the phone for the past few months I decided why not meet her in person. We get along great. She makes me laugh just like he does. He got his personality from her thats for sure! So we decided I would drive up to her place at Lake Isabella, CA for the 4th of July weekend. I live in Southern California so it was a nice 3 - 3 1/2 hour drive. Uneventful and peaceful drive. Thank God I got a country radio station almost the whole way! Yeeehaw. When I arrived Friday afternoon his Ma greeted me with a big hug and a comment about me wearing a sundress :) I told her I wasn't a girly girl so she must have expected a lil tomboy to pull up! I felt right at home from the second I stepped on her front porch. It was soooo hot up there. She took me to a nice local park along the Kern River. We hungout for awhile then headed home. She made a great dinner and we just kicked it for the night. On Saturday we went to a local camping area to see if we could locate Justins brother...and sure enough we did. I met him and a couple of his buddies. Seemed nice but quiet. I met his girlfriend later on in the day. Due to the heat and the holiday crowds it was impossible to find a place to jump in the lake. We decided we would just chill at home. Sunday I met Justin's Granny. She was very sweet too. Had us over for BBQ ribs which were awesome. I had to excuse myself early so I could get back to the house just in case Justin called...no such luck. I can't remember if the fireworks show was on Saturday or Sunday night but it was GREAT show. I watched it perfect from her frontyard...tears streaming down my face because I realized this time next year Justin will be FREE to share the fireworks with me! What a great thought that was. On Monday we did head to a spot at the lake but we didn't stay more than 10 minutes. Maybe next time. I left first thing Tuesday morning, but I didn't want to leave! I had a great time. I learned so much more about Justin that I went away loving him even more than I did when I got there! I have to say I really enjoyed meeting Justin's family...they made me feel like I was already a part of it!

Missing My Man

I miss Justin more then words can say. He seems so bummed out and distant. All I want to do is reach out and hug him but that's not possible. I pray whatever is bugging him passes real soon.

Almost....

In just a few days (May 27th) my baby will only have 12 mths left! I'm so excited. I pray this last year goes by fast! Just think when we kicked our friendship into high gear and made it into a relationship I remember him saying"it's only 20 mths...can you be there for me when I get out?" 8 mths have gone by and we are closer then ever!

Justin & A Few of The Cards He Has Made

Feeling like family....

I talked to Justin's Ma twice today! Our conversation are wonderful. I actually feel like I'm part of their family already. I can't wait to see him and his Ma together. They are so funny! I laugh so hard when I talk to both of them. She's as wonderful as he is!

My Man Is...

Simply The BEST! I wish I could explain how I feel about him, but there are no words to discribe it! He just does it for me...what is "it"? EVERYTHING. He makes me laugh, smile, and want to be a better person each and everyday! I love you Justin Lee!

Man Oh Man

Wow, the devil has been messing with our heads these last few weeks. For some unknown reason Justin is experiencing some terrible mood swings and filling his head with doubt. He calls it Short Timers Blues or some crap like that! I'm doing my best to keep him motivated and thinking positive but come on now...I'm going through some MAJOR changes myself! There are days when I wonder if I'm going to make it! All I can do is keep praying!

All I Can Say....

I MISS MY BABY!!!! I WANT HIM HOME SO BAD....UNTIL THEN I JUST DAYDREAM ABOUT THE DAY WE WILL FINALLY BE TOGETHER.

Time Is Ticking

Wow my man will be home before I know it! 13 mths is just around the corner! I talked to his mom today for an hour in a half. We had a great conversation. Laughed and talked about the one thing we have in common...JUSTIN. I can not wait to be an everyday part of his life!

Valentine Dedication

Here is my Valentine dedication to my sweet love....sent out over the airwaves on slowjam.com!

My name is Renae’ Downey from Wildomar, CA and I would love to dedicate “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number” to my one & only Justin Lee Bartlett who is incarcerated at California Men’s Colony in San Luis Obispo, CA.


Baby I couldn’t love anyone more then I love you. Age don’t mean a thing when it comes to our love & friendship. One day soon it will be just me & you! You are my everything!

I am 20 years older then Justin and EVERYONE thinks we are crazy and NO ONE believes in us but US! This special dedication would mean the world to me.

Thank You Very Much,
Renae’ Downey

Best Valentine's Day card EVER

Yesterday I received the most beautiful Valentines Day card. He drew this beautiful picture of us holding each other OUTSIDE of the prison walls. I cried. My man has so much talent. He just keeps on AMAZING me! Love you Justin Lee!!!

Nothing Better

Aww there's nothing better then waking up to my sweet mans voice! Until we are waking up next to each other that is :)

Amazing

Talked to Justin today and all I can say is...HE IS SIMPLY AMAZING!

Sound of Our Laughter

Another amazing phone call last night. The two of us were completely at ease and I can't stop hearing our laughter playing over & over in my head! He got to see the sarcastic side of me... :) I kept telling him i can be just as sarcastic as he is just not in my letters. He was laughing so hard.... amazed by the hard time I was giving him. It was so cute.

He's Always on My Mind

It seems like Justin is always on my mind! Thinking of him brings an instant smile to my face! He means so much to me even thou we haven't met. I can't explain how that works because I ask myself that question all the time. All I do know is I don't want a day to go by without him in it! We just click in soo many ways! The love we feel for each other just continues to grow and so does the bond we share. Starting a relationship with someone yet having to be apart for so long will make us appreciate our time together once he comes home. We won't take the little things for granted like so many couples do. These last 16 months are going to fly by for him yet seem like forever to me! We will get through them together that's all that matters. I'm so thankful to have Justin in my life! His friendship and love mean the world to me! Love you sweetie!

Hearing His Voice

Hearing Justin's voice just warms my heart! Our phone calls put the biggest smile on my face for hours! Today I wasn't as nervous as I was the first 2 calls. All I know is those are the quickest 15 minutes of the day!